I think about this time last year and how far we have come. How far I have come. Last year I was lost as to how our relationship would go. We were still recovering from our Alaska event and not sure how to feel. I was terrified we had ruined everything and he was still pushing back. Last year I had decided to get a divorce but my family didn’t know.
Now I am living on my own and happy. I am closer to him than ever before. We are comfortable together. He tells me things and I tell him things that we don’t tell others. We know each other’s flaws and laugh about them, or cry. Either way, it’s okay. I feel he loves me and it feels deeper than any love I have experienced before. Wether we end up together or not, he loves me. And I love him.
Today he gave me personal advice about how I need to move on, to let go, to rid myself of personal bias based on the past. Then he said I see it in you because it is something I do myself. It was a very kind and thoughtful conversation. I don’t know how to explain how beautiful it was that we can talk about things like that. He makes things right for me, even when he is telling me I’m doing something wrong. Sigh.
So in getting through this year’s holidays, I would like to get a Christmas hug before we part for Christmas. How do accomplish this? Just ask if it’s okay? Do I have the nerve to do that? And if I get a hug will I melt in his gigantic manly arms or panic? Gosh I really don’t know. I’ll keep you posted…