The weekend after our trip I’m at my house all alone. It’s weird being alone after weeks with him. He’s out sailing with the guys. I am going through the pictures on my phone of our travels to post and in the middle of them is a female face. It looks like a manikin. I’m wondering how this picture of a manikin got there. I look closer and it’s not s manikin at all. It’s a woman with overly smooth face and big hair. She’s cute and wearing lots of makeup. It looks like a selfie a woman would send to someone she likes. I freak out. I text it to him. “do u know her?” “Yes” he says. “Where did u get that?” I explain and get silence…half hour later I txt “girlfriend?” Silence…
I am now going through hell. I’m freaking out that he is getting txts from some chick and she’s pretty. I look at the picture and it’s creepy. She’s too young I think. If he wants to date a young manikin then let him. I activate my okcupid account. I cry in the bathtub. I delete the picture of her as well as some pictures of him. I change the photo for his contact info to a closeup of his fat belly and man boobs. I cry some more. I run 4 miles each day. Still silence from him.
It’s a three day weekend and on Monday work needs his attention so I txt him about it. Later he txts back “I’m trying, spotty connection.” And I forgive him. I’m such an idiot. Who am I to say he can’t date? If I want to date or flirt or txt a man I sure will.
Tuesday morning I get to work and kill him with kindness. He asks again how I got the picture. Did he think I was up to something? I tell him. There were two pics of him and his son on my phone too. He says it is just an old friend and the picture doesn’t even look like her, he’s not sure why she sent it to him. I know why but don’t comment.
I still don’t know how those photos got there, gods will? Says the athiest. His phone was getting constant txts for a while but that seems to have died down. A female called him in the airport on way down. Maybe they were flirting a bit and it has passed. Or maybe it hasn’t passed. He tends to keep things from me that would upset me. I am so sick of this roller coaster ride but I can’t get off. The truth is, I don’t want to get off.