Watching yoga

We were running a training course in Florida at a research station.  It was late, like 9:00, but I wanted to do yoga before bed. He had brought his matt on the trip so I asked if he wanted to join me and he said no.  I went out to the pier, put on my headphones and strategically placed my matt in view of the deck where we were staying, then forgot about anything but yoga, my music, and the moon that was out.  It was a beautiful night.  I stretched and danced and did push ups and basically had a very good session.  As I rolled up my matt I saw him out of the corner of my eyes on the deck standing up into the doorway.  It was about 10:00 now and I was surprised he was coming outside that late, maybe something was wrong.  When I went to the deck, he wasn’t there.  That is when I replayed the vision I had of him in my mind.  He wasn’t coming out, he was going in. He had been watching me do yoga and when I rolled up my matt, he snuck back inside.  The next morning I commented on how he had missed such a good yoga session and he said, “no I didn’t, I was sound asleep and not missing it at all.” the liar…weeks later he was having back trouble and his doctor prescribed yoga so he asked me about some moves that he saw me do in Florida “or somewhere” as he tried to cover it up. He is a giant, adorable lousy liar.

Follow this epic tale of finding love over 50, based on a true story. The story is ongoing so the end is TBD. Follow, comment, and provide support to the main character as she finds herself in love all over again in her 50s, this time with her boss. Updates will be posted every Friday at 5:00. 

Next week: Not there when I needed him.

Finding a norm

Even with all her efforts to show him everything was okay, she was struggling inside. For her, everything was not okay. She found herself thinking about him continuously.  She checked her email obsessively, hoping for something from him. Weekends were sadness; two entire days without him. Holidays were downright depressing. She fought it at first, then gave in and started a blog to herself in hopes of somehow getting control over her feelings.  He never said how he feels about her. To the very day of this writing, she still doesn’t really know.

He began to feel more comfortable with her once again. The teasing started back up. They found themselves having long conversations about anything. Her heart began to hurt at the thought of him finding someone else. She became jealous over silly things and tried not to show it. He began to tell her what he was doing after hours which made her feel better.  Did he know she needed this? He would txt her over the weekend occasionally but not always. She would do the same, but not always. They soon found themselves in a long and lonely rhythm.  She laughed and loved at work, and went home to sadness and depression.  Eventually she managed to move out of her house and away from her husband, which was a huge relief, but found herself feeling homeless because she was living at her sister house. 

He became depressed and texted her about it once. She asked too many questions and he said she would be a good one to talk to but he can’t, and he never brought it up again.  She cried at almost every run and shower. Still does.

Follow this epic tale of finding love over 50, based on a true story. The story is ongoing so the end is TBD. Follow, comment, and provide support to the main character as she finds herself in love all over again in her 50s, this time with her boss. Updates will be posted every Friday at 5:00. 

Next week: Watching Yoga

Therapist explains why…

She asked her therapist why. If she is trying to get out of a relationship, why does she find herself wanting to get into one? Of all men, why her boss? Her husband is an over sexual Pepe-le-peu, the last thing she wants is another man groping her, so why?  He explained it her in a way that made sense.  She has a need, one that was not fulfilled by her husband.  A need to be loved and feel safe in a man’s arms.  Sex does not equal love. Her marriage had the sex but not the closeness of love.  Her husband would say that sex makes us close, that is what we have that is different from anyone else. She realized it was the reverse. If you have something different from everyone else, that level of closeness, then you have sex. She found she could be close to her boss without the pressure of it leading to sex, and that was part of the attraction.  The fact that he WAS her boss was part of the attraction. Because he was such a huge risk, they couldn’t go there. He was so unsafe, he was safe. Part of her wanted him badly and part of her wanted the safety of being close to someone without the pressure of it turning into sex. It was an inner conflict that she struggled with then, and still does.

Follow this epic tale of finding love over 50, based on a true story. The story is ongoing so the end is TBD. Follow, comment, and provide support to the main character as she finds herself in love all over again in her 50s, this time with her boss. Updates will be posted every Friday at 5:00. 

Next week: Next Stop Vegas

Then came Alaska

They had a meeting to attend in Alaska. It was going to be difficult, her former boss would be there.  She was stressed over this but excited to go to Alaska.  She had never been there and wanted to have some time to enjoy the location. He suggested they go early and enjoy the weekend before the meeting. And so they did. 

Bed and Breakfast’s are the cheapest places to stay so they booked two rooms in a B&B.  She was still married at this point and knew it was not going to go over well at home.  She was starting to realize just how unhappy she was and nothing was going to stop her from this chance to enjoy herself. So she told her family what she was doing and off she went. 

Describing the beauty of that entire week is impossible. The location was spectacular and he was too.  I will share a few scenes with you in the next few posts as an example. The truth is she had been crushing on him up until that week, but that week, that very week, was the week she fell in love.  That week seems like a dream but that week really happened.  That week was magic.

 

Follow this epic tale of finding love over 50, based on a true story. The story is ongoing so the end is TBD. Follow, comment, and provide support to the main character as she finds herself in love all over again in her 50s, this time with her boss. Updates will be posted every Friday at 5:00. 

Next week: The Run in the Rain

Disappoinments

There were disappointments, of course. Their relationship was new, complicated, and still evolving.  For example, she worked hard to make his first birthday in his new life a good one and he didn’t seem to appreciate it. In fact, he commented on how someone else in the office had tried to make his birthday great.  He was enjoying the attention but it was insensitive and still stings.  Then, he forgot her birthday completely.  Maybe he didn’t care about her at all.  When she told him it was her birthday he bought her lunch the next day, so that made up for it, sort of. 

 That spring they taught a class together. The students were the age of their kids. The students call her Mom and him Step Dad. They had different styles of parenting which caught both of them both by surprise and it probably disappointed him. No, they sure couldn’t have raised a family together, but at their age, that doesn’t matter anymore.  And they were both very reasonable when they discussed it.  The way he handled the difficult conversation impressed her.  He was her supervisor but never seemed to use the “because I am your boss” card. He treated them like a team.  She appreciates that every day to this day.

 

Follow this epic tale of finding love over 50, based on a true story. The story is ongoing so the end is TBD. Follow, comment, and provide support to the main character as she finds herself in love all over again in her 50s, this time with her boss. Updates will be posted every Friday at 5:00. 

Next week: Then came Alaska

They Look Like a Couple

When they were out together, strangers assumed they were a couple. They would correct the mistake at first, but it happened so often, neither of them bother to correct anyone anymore.  In a bar once with a group of people, she went to get a beer. While the bar tender was pouring her beer, he came up and said he would like a taste. Instead of giving him a sample in a small glass, the bar tender handed him the beer she was pouring, which was hers. He took a sip and handed it back. The bar tender finished filling the beer, then handed it to her. What the heck? She thought, we are not a couple! He didn’t bother say anything except I’ll have one too. Fast food restaurants would charge whomever made it through the line first for both meals.  She was starting to feel like a couple and had to watch herself. At a trade show someone asked if she was his better half and much to her embarrassment, she said “yes”. He just looked at her and she said, “At work!  I’m your better half at work.” which is true, so darn true.

 Follow this epic tale of finding love over 50, based on a true story. The story is ongoing so the end is TBD. Follow, comment, and provide support to the main character as she finds herself in love all over again in her 50s, this time with her boss. Updates will be posted every Friday at 5:00. 

Next week: Disappointments

A Boy from Nebraska 

Once upon a time, a long time ago, there was a tall boy from Nebraska who had big dreams of seeing the world.  With a solid foundation of love from his family and trust in doing what is right, he set out to make his way in life.  His adventures led him through college, where he played a lot of sports.  He chose a solid major that would allow him to have a interesting career.  Landing himself a much sought after position at an organization he loved, his dreams came true. He traveled the world, learned to scuba dive and worked underwater, fell in love, married, had two boys and all was as it should be, except it wasn’t.

Follow this epic tale of finding love over 50, based on a true story. The story is ongoing so the end is TBD. Follow, comment, and provide support to the main character as she finds herself in love all over again in her 50s, this time with her boss. Updates will be posted every Friday at 5:00. 

Next week: A Girl From Virginia