We argued multiple times today over work related issues. When we were done with the disagreement, we are done. No lingering hard feelings or anger. No consequences. Its work, he has an opinion and so do I. We express it and we are done. This happened at least twice today. Each time we were back to our old selves when the discussion was over. Sitting outside enjoying a quick lunch together or laughing about something. At the end of the day we do the dishes, together side by side, sometimes too close. We walk out together. I almost forget to go my separate way. When I get home I text him what food to bring in tomorrow so I can make something for lunch. He texts back what he has and asks if its okay. I am in a reverse marriage. Yes I realize this post totally contrasts with the previous post. Welcome to my life.
Its Friday at 5:ish and I end up in his office. He wants to ask me something and is clearly not sure how to start. He has a friend who is very religious and married a man who is into porn. By what he said I know who he is talking about and don’t think he is interrested in dating her, but she is an old friend so he cares. He can’t reconcile She knowingly married a man like that and still seems okay with it. She is still married and has no intention of leaving. He is asking me because my husband had the same problem. I didn’t realize he had such a problem when I married him and when I finally came to the conclusion things would never change, I left. I explained many things to him that night about what I went through and why it took me so long to leave. We talked about sex and what it means to us and what we want in our next relationship. I’ve never seen him sit and listen to me quite like that before. It turned into an explanation of why I put up with it so long and what my values are. I referenced a relevant book of his that he had shared with me. He said that he sent it to her. So that means this was not some recent conversation with his friend. Why was he asking me about it now? Why was this conversation about my expectations for love and relationships and marriage and sex? Is that what he wanted to know? Was he judging me and wanting to understand why I put up with it so long? Again, like so many things with him, I don’t know. I do know it was a beautiful conversation. Face to face, looking into each other’s eyes, for hours, sharing what we think is important about relationships. OMG, what next with this guy?